I'm so screwed, or at least that's how I feel. Today at ICL, N.O CK was talking to me while I collected the final 2 pumps; single and triple, one each. So we started talking and he asked if I was married and I said no. He started telling me how beautiful I am and that he thought so from the first time he saw me last week when I went to collect the first PM pump. So that already was like, wow thanks! Know what I mean? After that he went on to how sweet he thinks I am and so on, so we started talking and he asked to be friends and to me that's fine. Guess i made friends all right, he got my number from my business card that I gave him the first time round. I guess it didn't really hit me till after the conversation was over I realized that I hadn't answered the question of whether I'm single or attached! Obviously I'm happily attached to a guy that I adore, if I didn't I wouldn't have stuck around for 3 over years. Now I feel like crap and I have no clue how to tell him nicely that I didn't answer the question and that I am attached. HELP!!!!!!
Flattery can be cruel.....
Thursday, September 20, 2007
Friday, September 14, 2007
Anarchy
Total and complete chaos is how I feel right now! Everything is just spirraling out of control, my control! In a way I want to just kind of step back and take a really good look at everything, but then I ask myself, why? And most importantly, whether I even know what I'm trying to look for in the first place. Sounds weird I know but I just can't help myself. It's like...I honestly have no clue how to describe this feeling or even the situtation. The whole scenario is just totally out of proportion. Everything that I thought was sane is now questionable for its reliability. what am I to do? In other words, messed up!
On the other hand, I met up with Kathy after work on thursday, after my coffee-talk with her I ran into Yasmine and then we went right back into Starbucks and I had yet another round of coffee-talk with her. But it was enjoyable and informative. She's so office politic-savy. I'm can so learn from her, but then if it comes and a cost or a price that requires friendship as the payment, then sorry I'm not ready nor will I probably ever be ready for something like that. Office politics is something i rather just ignore, listen to? Of course! It's so interesting! But I like the ways of Thomas, just float in, do your stuff and leave the mud-slinging to those who are willing to get dirty wtih it. No point standing in the way either.
I guess once i started prioritizing what is what and who is who, it's this total eye-opener as to who your real friends are. Who are the ones that are there for you, give you good advice and at the same time listen to you when you have things to let out. Those who chuck you, chuck them back! Slug 'em if you must!
To be honest, I have no clue to what this post is about. It's basically a jumbled up mess of everything that's playing back in my head and I'm just writing how it makes me feel and what I think of. How could something so simple turn out to be so complicated? I just don't get it! Since when did life have so many rules and regulations that I'm now only learning about. Man what happened to education in school, does school not prepare you for the real world? Ha! It does, the idealistic theoretical world we find in books and magazines and through wonderfully miraculous testimonies of others; but not in our worlds. Not till we're probably much older and what's the word...wiser? So lame! The oldest and lamest phrase ever, older and wise....older certainly does not mean wiser to me. wiser is something that is earned from experience and not from age. There are truck loads of young that suffer and learn fast to be tough from young...years of experience do it...not the years of your life. That phrase gives this false pretense that bad things only happen when your older and when you young everyone has such a great childhood...we're all equal!! Crap..all of it. Old is old; based on how many years you have added to your life, but wising up? This is certainly not defined by age!
Now about this whole age issue! Everyone in my company tells me that I'm so young, obviously I'm only 22. Now some of my friends and family; who are younger than me, tend to be like wow..you're getting old, everytime i birthday comes and I get a year older. Yeah, getting older has some down sides to it but overall it's a wonderful thing to go through. I'm not saying i spent my youthfullness doing all I wanted to, but i got a fair share of stuff done that I'm proud of. I Say you have to look at it like this device that is adding years to your life. Right now i have 22years there, on my life and in a few months I shall add yet another year to this device called my life. I know of a lot of people who look at it like some count down timer....people we aint cakes baking in any oven!! We're humans, you can't count down, you don't know where that finish line is. Just think of it as being right there in front of you at all times and at any one time you could cross it and that's it. Or you could continue to add years and push that line one year further away from you.
now I can name a ton of people who will read this and then start on me about being all optimistic and what not. I don't care, say as you please...tag me and then go write your blog to be all dark and dreary and exclaim that the world's going to end, it's your space to rant and this is mine...so back off!! Optism is what keeps us going strong and happily, certainly not anything else. just observe either yourself or someone around you and then come back here and argue with me!
I still have no clue as to why this post is being written. I'm not even too sure what it was that I wnted to type or even say. Sometimes it's like you just want to get a message out there to people, other times you just need a place to vent anger and all other forms of emotions, other times you need a place to write all you feel, or felt and saw. An experience you had, or maybe not just that but moreon how it made you feel what you thought of it. Just to pen it down and maybe later read it again and learn something about yourself. I find that typing about how certain events made you feel and reading throug those can be real eye-openers. it's like being third party, you play back that scene in your head and you can either agree with yourself or laugh at yourself or tell yourself, i should have done it differently. But who's to say what? This is just one girl and her thoughts about her life.
On the other hand, I met up with Kathy after work on thursday, after my coffee-talk with her I ran into Yasmine and then we went right back into Starbucks and I had yet another round of coffee-talk with her. But it was enjoyable and informative. She's so office politic-savy. I'm can so learn from her, but then if it comes and a cost or a price that requires friendship as the payment, then sorry I'm not ready nor will I probably ever be ready for something like that. Office politics is something i rather just ignore, listen to? Of course! It's so interesting! But I like the ways of Thomas, just float in, do your stuff and leave the mud-slinging to those who are willing to get dirty wtih it. No point standing in the way either.
I guess once i started prioritizing what is what and who is who, it's this total eye-opener as to who your real friends are. Who are the ones that are there for you, give you good advice and at the same time listen to you when you have things to let out. Those who chuck you, chuck them back! Slug 'em if you must!
To be honest, I have no clue to what this post is about. It's basically a jumbled up mess of everything that's playing back in my head and I'm just writing how it makes me feel and what I think of. How could something so simple turn out to be so complicated? I just don't get it! Since when did life have so many rules and regulations that I'm now only learning about. Man what happened to education in school, does school not prepare you for the real world? Ha! It does, the idealistic theoretical world we find in books and magazines and through wonderfully miraculous testimonies of others; but not in our worlds. Not till we're probably much older and what's the word...wiser? So lame! The oldest and lamest phrase ever, older and wise....older certainly does not mean wiser to me. wiser is something that is earned from experience and not from age. There are truck loads of young that suffer and learn fast to be tough from young...years of experience do it...not the years of your life. That phrase gives this false pretense that bad things only happen when your older and when you young everyone has such a great childhood...we're all equal!! Crap..all of it. Old is old; based on how many years you have added to your life, but wising up? This is certainly not defined by age!
Now about this whole age issue! Everyone in my company tells me that I'm so young, obviously I'm only 22. Now some of my friends and family; who are younger than me, tend to be like wow..you're getting old, everytime i birthday comes and I get a year older. Yeah, getting older has some down sides to it but overall it's a wonderful thing to go through. I'm not saying i spent my youthfullness doing all I wanted to, but i got a fair share of stuff done that I'm proud of. I Say you have to look at it like this device that is adding years to your life. Right now i have 22years there, on my life and in a few months I shall add yet another year to this device called my life. I know of a lot of people who look at it like some count down timer....people we aint cakes baking in any oven!! We're humans, you can't count down, you don't know where that finish line is. Just think of it as being right there in front of you at all times and at any one time you could cross it and that's it. Or you could continue to add years and push that line one year further away from you.
now I can name a ton of people who will read this and then start on me about being all optimistic and what not. I don't care, say as you please...tag me and then go write your blog to be all dark and dreary and exclaim that the world's going to end, it's your space to rant and this is mine...so back off!! Optism is what keeps us going strong and happily, certainly not anything else. just observe either yourself or someone around you and then come back here and argue with me!
I still have no clue as to why this post is being written. I'm not even too sure what it was that I wnted to type or even say. Sometimes it's like you just want to get a message out there to people, other times you just need a place to vent anger and all other forms of emotions, other times you need a place to write all you feel, or felt and saw. An experience you had, or maybe not just that but moreon how it made you feel what you thought of it. Just to pen it down and maybe later read it again and learn something about yourself. I find that typing about how certain events made you feel and reading throug those can be real eye-openers. it's like being third party, you play back that scene in your head and you can either agree with yourself or laugh at yourself or tell yourself, i should have done it differently. But who's to say what? This is just one girl and her thoughts about her life.
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Back to Cyberspace
Wasn't able to enter this website for a while as well as MSN and email accounts. My laptops keyboard decided to go kapootz right after the Commex Show. Sigh. So I wasn't able to use my computer for a while, but now that I've hooked up an external keyboard it's working fine now. Only problem would be the "fn" key. It doesn't exsist on a keyboard. Sigh, double-time! But I guess as long as I can access and use the net and all it's accessories, I shan't complain. =D
Works been getting stressful, more and more by the hour. Sigh. I still can't believe he wants a "spy"! And worst off it just has to be Kevin. Then to think of the new guy? I can bet my life and fully guarantee that the new guy was instructed not to talk to anyone other then James, Fredrick that gang. Sigh. Guess Kevin was a bit of a disappointment, but then again it's hard to say so I'll still watch my own back just to play safe here. I still need to survive there. PM this month and next month will kill, and March shall be worst than now.
Okay on a not so related note to the above, I want to discuss about authors and books that are nice to read and if anyone has a comment on what is preferred or any suggestions to a possible author or book title that I may like.
Okay so currently I'm reading Stephen King's A Bag of Bones. I love the phrases, "That's my dust catcher.." and "It's just another bag of bones...".
These two lines just really seemed to stand out especially the first, it's just so common....and so true...everything belongs to us, our past, out secrets and these things shall just sit there and collect dust...and it belongs to only us and no one else...
Overall the story's about this author, Michael Noonan; his wife passes away - very suddenly in a parking lot, and he kind of gets a writer's block or shall it say writer's walk. Towards the middle of the book; which is where I am currently, it seems more that it wasn't writer's block or walk but more of his wife's and his summer home was haunted. And it is these spirits that are controlling his actions or should I say thoughts. But I know that will come later. =)
Well once I finish withthe book or reach that portion of it where I'll either be right or wrong, I'll blog it here. Till then...Gdnite!!! =D
Works been getting stressful, more and more by the hour. Sigh. I still can't believe he wants a "spy"! And worst off it just has to be Kevin. Then to think of the new guy? I can bet my life and fully guarantee that the new guy was instructed not to talk to anyone other then James, Fredrick that gang. Sigh. Guess Kevin was a bit of a disappointment, but then again it's hard to say so I'll still watch my own back just to play safe here. I still need to survive there. PM this month and next month will kill, and March shall be worst than now.
Okay on a not so related note to the above, I want to discuss about authors and books that are nice to read and if anyone has a comment on what is preferred or any suggestions to a possible author or book title that I may like.
Okay so currently I'm reading Stephen King's A Bag of Bones. I love the phrases, "That's my dust catcher.." and "It's just another bag of bones...".
These two lines just really seemed to stand out especially the first, it's just so common....and so true...everything belongs to us, our past, out secrets and these things shall just sit there and collect dust...and it belongs to only us and no one else...
Overall the story's about this author, Michael Noonan; his wife passes away - very suddenly in a parking lot, and he kind of gets a writer's block or shall it say writer's walk. Towards the middle of the book; which is where I am currently, it seems more that it wasn't writer's block or walk but more of his wife's and his summer home was haunted. And it is these spirits that are controlling his actions or should I say thoughts. But I know that will come later. =)
Well once I finish withthe book or reach that portion of it where I'll either be right or wrong, I'll blog it here. Till then...Gdnite!!! =D
Saturday, September 08, 2007
Retirement Age
My laptop has finally reached it's retirement age. Most of my third row keys are not working. so if you T U I O are not working, you're going to face a lot of problems with typing. Especially user names and passwords, currently using my sister's computer just t clear my mailbox out. Guess from here on out my mailbox will only get cleared when I'm at my office. Which will be few and far between this month, way too many PM (preventive maintenance). Repairs are reasonable this month so far, but PM is getting way overloaded as well as commissioning. Therefore, my next schedule for this lot will be in March. PM inclusive of newly commissioned, I'm pretty much screwed. Furthermore, the BME manager wants me to collect my PM pumps. More problems are sure to arise, so not going to do that; and my manager totally sides this move! It's just ridiculous for me to run around like that, and what if history repeats itself? So likely to happen, then what? Who's going to be the one to take the blame? Who will the fingers start pointing to? Who will lose their reputation with the user? It's best that the current way of PM flow remains! But it's hard to say, let's just wait for the 'black and white' and then see how it all plays out.
Oh I got a new book yesterday, "The Stranger House" not sure of the author but the story line seemed interesting so I bought it. Actually it was a debate between Dan Brown's Angels and Demons and this one The Stranger House; I figured that being able to find a Dan Brown book is easier then this other author so I decided on the latter. Either way, once I've finished reading and of course if I remember, which I doubt..hehe...I'll write about it =D
Right now, I need to get to bed, I have my Malayalam class tomorrow! Gdnite!!
Oh I got a new book yesterday, "The Stranger House" not sure of the author but the story line seemed interesting so I bought it. Actually it was a debate between Dan Brown's Angels and Demons and this one The Stranger House; I figured that being able to find a Dan Brown book is easier then this other author so I decided on the latter. Either way, once I've finished reading and of course if I remember, which I doubt..hehe...I'll write about it =D
Right now, I need to get to bed, I have my Malayalam class tomorrow! Gdnite!!
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