I Needa Break

I so needa break so think this just might be my last entry for awhile, the least. i need rest and i so needa get my butt moving on the project but heck im too lazy and tired. seriously no mood to open mr kou's book to read...sigh..maybe tomorrow? but if i keep saying that then nothing will ever get done. passport gonna expire soon, real soon and still nothing..sigh..thought this week could get done but then FOP and well i need the CCA points. literally!! but then again not like i can enter any university anytime soon, still have that bond to pay off. then its bye bye and off to university!! =D can't wait. i know its more stress and everything but i'm like so looking forward to it and not so much attachment, working life just ain't my life, school so is.

i love studying, i find it fun. am i crazy?? i don't believe so even though sometimes in my mind i hear those words form but then my heart says its all wrong and the more i come to think of attachment, 26 September, i get more scared then anything else. weird, or just plain freaky?? don't know and don't really care all i know is in my mind im ok with it but my heart and everything else is afraid. of what i have no clue, maybe if i just try it, it might not be as bad. worse fear: screwing up. i mean yeah i ask alota questions and it worries me that i can't do that at work, i'll be expected to just know. i'm go going to be holding every moment in school dear to me man!! so dear!!!

but still i need a break, i well deserved break and therefore no more blogging for a while, might even be a long while i don't know, maybe when i have time and actually change my blog skin i'll start up blogging again. hahaha!! so far just haven't seen anything i like. looking for something plain but nice...i want boarders and all that stuff but yea something real plain...but everything everywhere is like, pictures everywhere and there ain't no way in hell i'm using one of those, just not my current mood right now, or phase..maybe i'll go search a while the clothes soak before starting dinner. sounds like a plan. =D

Reflections

Well, VPP is officially over but now it's the start of the school term come tues 24th may. sigh. not that it's bad, i guess, just that after i look back on these past 6weeks it kinda makes me wonder how much was really done and learnt. haha!! i know for sure that i've learnt something just that not much was done. mainly the microP was programmed but even that's not fully completed, but pretty much done. =D yayness!!!

other then that started thinking about everything that's been going on and i realized something. ever noticed how when we try to hide something we end up making it more obvious then antisipated. yupz it's true!! but if we try to hide something but end up making it more obvious the only thing that's on our side would be the fact that everyone around will be blind to it. maybe that's the whole point i don't know. but then if we make it like so not obvious then people tend to "tease" more but then the more open we are the less "teasing" there is but then again..sigh..people minds can work wonders. im just thankful i don't have to bother with all that. i just palce it all there and see what you want and say what you want it don't bother me. its not like i don't have friends and well they don't mind so yeah. =D haha i love my friends. all of them. all of G2 man and not forgetting priscilla and geraldine!!! like best friends man. so close and comfortable to just anyhow talk crap and wack, can joke around and everything. =D rox man!!

kk everyone is here..gtg!!! =D

One Week Left

Just one week left and yay..finally VPP will be over and term will start. timetable aint that bad pretty ok, just need to find out which day BPD will be on (have a feeling it's mon and tues) but anywaz...sigh. IS selection was another major screw up by the IS department. damn hypocritical!! they screw up and then they make the students who the screw over take the blame and suffer from it. WTH!!! nothing better to do but push the blame here and there. and yes as students we have the right to argue and defend our rights!! we may be students and that lady might have been older then us but does that really matter when it comes down to being fair to people's right. supposedly we have the right to choose but when it comes down to it..we actually have no choice at all. doesn't it seem fimiliar?? this whole country's system is such. its all an illusion...democracy is not real..sad but true. not to be mean but if you really open your eyes the choice given isn't really a choice at all. just like IS, offered to choose but your choice is only a timeslot or just one option. what's the point?? seriously what's the point?? ok not everything is like that but it's about there.

seriously not wanting to offend anyone or anything but it's true i mean i was born and raised in a country where democracy is really practiced. practiced too as in way too much, and freedom is like literally allowing you to grow wings and fly wherever with all privelledges and all. so yeah i just can't understand it. and i seriously don't like nor agree with the system, i find it way too controlling and i miss the freedom, i rather have the freedom and bare with the consequences rather then be controlled and dictated all my moves. sigh. one day...one day....it's situations like this that make me regret being in this country but then when i think about appachin and ammachie and then all my friends yeah i'm glad i'm here and able to meet and know all of them and be able to love and enjoy their company. but then when i think of my dad...i revert back to the hate and resentment i feel towards the system for what it did and how it made him suffer...auffer till the day he left us. and i hate the country and the people and the government for it!!!!! i don't blame God i blame singapore!!!

you may think it's just a small case IS selection but to me it's so much more. so much more!! and i can't help but make it personal...it's just too many events...way too many events. nevermind..anywaz its bedtime...crime night is on..FBI files....