So bored. finished revision. oh yeah shy if you read this and im not online, i figured out that last question so tomorrow i'll show it to you. i'll be in school at 7:30am, so yeah just come and i'll be there to show you. =)

i know i should probably be studying CMB and stuff but i just have no mood for anything. just feel like sleeping, but have to wait till 8:30pm to at least start the tape for recording. sigh. so now just gonna waste time here typing and writting probably another long entry. well not really another cause i haven't written one like that for so long now. honestly don't think i've been thinking that much lately. sometimes it makes me wonder whether im becoming less of person who thinks freely and openly cause it's like lately, there's nothing much in my head. and for some reason i feel weird and empty. like its abnormal or something. something should be there yet its nothing. kinda creepy. it was like when i went through the MI paper. it was like i know nothing and i didn't exactly read the text but the MCQ's and certain questions i was just answering them. damn creepy. its like i do know what im doing yet there is nothing in my head at all but yet its all there. see what i mean. creepy...

i know some will say its cool and what not but to me, a person who's mind never rest its like, just weird. its totally empty lately and its like no matter how hard i try to think of something i just cant. its weirding me out man!!

but not only that, even at night. usually i dream continuously and its like some kinda continuous story or something cause wherever it is i wake i will continue from there when i fall back to sleep. sometimes they link but sometimes they don't but they do just not so direct. its like its underlying or something. just the other night had a dream of wandering around some estate and stuff, then there was this guy in a yellow shirt and he was creepy and somewhat "dangerous". he walked around holding knives to the throat and stuff. then it was like after walking i was downstairs of this place and there were other people there, people that i don't recognize yet the face stays in my mind so vividly. weird huh?? its like i know them cause im not afraid and very comfortable but i just don't know who, never even met anyone that ever looked like them before. don't know. after that i was back upstairs in front of these two huge light brown doors, then once i walked through it was as if i walked into some parellel dimension or something cause the people that i do know and recognize just totally ignored me like they honestly don't know me, and yet i have these like total strangers coming to me as though i've known them my whole life. woke up thinking about it and trying to figure it out. some say that dreams are a window into our sub-conscience minds. how true it is, i have no clue. but i've been wanting it to end so i can figure things out but its always changing. the people are the same but the surroundings are always changing and the number of people changes too. if this is a window to mine sub0conscience im pretty eager to figure it all out. how true is it that dreams portray our past, present and furture. can't really argue cause i have experienced that whole deja vu thing. kinda creepy. i mean its like you feel as though you've experienced, ok!! no prob. but if like me and you not only feel it but remember it and cna predict what will happen next. damn scary. able of premenition?? maybe but i hope not, anyways God didn't give man that ability, only He possess that kinda power. i don't know, all i know is its not something that like scares me or what ever but it makes me curious and another thing is..lately i have had nothing much on my mind. no thoughts, no phrase, no rhyms nor rhythmes. weird and with all honesty i miss it. i miss having my mind go beyond what i can comprehensivly answer myself and i like thinking beyond one's limits and possessing the ability of inquistitivness. its pleasant and all too familar to me and now its all gone. i feel empty, but worse is i feel empty and without a thought. sigh. kinda depressing actually once you really get down to it. sigh.

now my main concern is, how will anything stay in my mind when its forever blank lately and yeah during CT week somemore...that's bad. really bad!! sigh. but yet again its something that i have absolutely no control over and must just let it be as it is. maybe stress could be a cause. for some reason i cant rest until i can figure out something, make sense of everything. i know this may sound really weird to read and might not even make sense but to me it does. im piecing all parts and only some where placed openly here but not all. if all then everyone would think im crazy. anyways somethings are personal. just don't know what it means but im determinded to figure it out so maybe i'll just knock myself out for tonight and see what happens. *shurgs* oh well. things should fall into place pretty soon, hopefully.

kk think i should be ending here cause this window is giving probs. kinda like its reached its max or something so yeah i'll go and get the tape ready for that show i need to tape. =D and then i'll be off to bed, for yet another night of trying to make sense of what little does and much that doesn't. sigh.

SMILE PEOPLE!! =D