Bout time i actually logged in and wrote some stuff. know its been such a long while but heck been piled with other stuff to do, and yeah..blogging just didn't seem as important.

anywaz, nothing much happening, exams round the corner and then sigh, i don't know anymore. kinda fed up with everything but then its like i feel as though im not doing anything. i don't even go for cca anymore and its not like i don't wanna or anything it's just that with everything going on, how too?? guess i was wrong to think that things could only get better later on. turns out the opposites been happening and its been getting worse and worse as time goes by. kinda sad and depressing but that's the direction it's heading in and i can't in any way yield it, let alone stop it. sigh. sometimes i wonder how many people actually understand? how many can truley understand what it's like and how difficult and tiring it really is?? compare school work and cca is nothing to what i do and yeah i have to admit i gave up. i couldn't handle it so i just gave up. i regret the decision cause i just kinda proved to myself that i can't but worse of all that i didnt even really try. so maybe i should just get right back on and try again?? not that simple. ha!! if only life were, i'd be living a fairy tale man, but since this is reality i just have to face all that's thrown in my direction and try my best to handle it as it comes. but i can still garuntee that i'll suck at it. lolx!!

can't wait for the hols. man, if everything goes well then it's bye-bye singapore for a while. yay!! hahaha!! im sorry but seriously its a nightmare here for me. its like everyday wake only to be miserable. find it harder and harder each day to wake with a smile. use to be so easy but now its like some kinda chore to do so. sigh. hp must stay close by and slide-show must work!! need some sorta reason and yeah remind myself why in the first place, then remember appachin and yeah its all worth it. =D

still can remember the look in his eyes and that smile on his face, his voice and just everything. its like only yesterday he was sitting there at the dining table eating and watching all of us go about our stuff. and the lying on his bed in the room, waiting and asking when i'll be home from school. =) miss him. kinda wish i was able to meet ammachie. from what i hear she was a great person. kind, loving, caring and giving. think i would have really liked her alot. sigh. if only. but then again things happen for a reason, but what my reason was for not meeting her nor getting to know her??...i have no clue... wonder what it would have been like though..?? *thinking*

bleah..mind too full of things right now, kinda lost my mood to write anymore. and on top of that im sleepy which means when im sleepy and mind is racing with things in it, i tend it get cranky and yeah, getting there now so i'll end here and go lay down now.