When the Role is Called Up Yonder

Ever heard the song?? maybe in church?? maybe at a funeral, i don't know but i do know when i hear this song. everyone of us labour on this earth to strive for things that if you really look at it are all materialistic, some more then others but still. sigh. aunty mary george passed away today..peacefully from what i hear but still no the less. i can only imagine how uncle feels right now. depend on her in life and now with her gona i'd bet anything he's pretty much spiritually and mentally gone. only physically shall he remain but for how long??

sometimes i ask my mom that question. i know she's pretty much as gone as my dad is. it doesn't matter what you say or do its still the same because facts don't change to what you want them to be. facts are just facts. i know that when God calls us home we should be more then happy to go with no regrets or wanting to turn back cause He knows what's best for us and when, but then its alwaz the ones left behind that seem to suffer and leave more then the others. i just don't get it.

i know i should probably be over and done with this whole issue but its not that simple to just forget and chuck one side. ever since appachan passed away its been like this whole thing with me, something's missing and there was a hole then there was two but now it feels like so many more that i just can't count them anymore. it's not sadness where you want to cry, but its more of this emptiness that lies there once the news is told, later then thoughts and actual emotions flood. i mean i may not know her well or her husband but i know they are nice and that unlce is like my appachan so yeah that's all that i need to know, their good people!!

through life and death joy and pain still shared. ironic in a way yet enlightening. thinking more and pondering really gets me to think that maybe some people are just destined to be together to take care of each other and love one another. through good and bad and even when you're old, to take care of each other and continue to love in life and in death. to break the wedding vows of loving and honouring till death do them part, cause some people just can't stop loving someone even when they're gone. but then again life is full of these kind of things. promises made that hard just so hard to break but then it breaks you down completly inside.

sometimes i wish that death wouldnt occur but then maybe the only way to prevet it is to let it just take as much as you as possible until you just get so use to it. sigh..one solution maybe...i don't know but i hope not....i really really hope not....