Mind, Body and Soul

I had written a long post just now and deleted the whole thing. For some reason, I feel like my mind just isn't in the right space right now. I'm actually in a call right now as I type this, 10.30pm my time. 

It just seems that while I want to pen my thoughts, other thoughts start flooding my brain. Now this does happen on a daily basis and I always thought I was weird when I was younger and unable to stay focused. Not sure if this is a focus issue or just my mind walking it's own path because it's what my mind and soul needs. Mind, body and soul.

My mind wanders, my body aches and my soul feels heavy. I remember when I use to feel like this and I remember at what exact point in my life it changed. And I know at exactly what stage and point in my life it reverted back!

May 2004 - my mind wandered, my body ached but my soul became light.
Jan 2008 - my mind wandered (but creatively this time), my body still ached and my soul remained light.
Nov 2014 - my mind wandered less, my body ached less and my soul was light.
Aug 2016 - my mind became forgetful, my body ached terribly and my soul was still light.
Sep 2017 - my mind wandered again, my body ached and my soul became heavy.
May 2018 - mind wandered more, body still ached and soul became heavier.

Each is a significant milestone in my life and I know exactly when and why each change happened or why it reverted. Will I go back and change anything, no not ever! These milestones, good or bad, are mine and mine alone that I needed to go through and still go through for a few reasons.

Personal development, mental stability, spiritual strength 

Right now, my mind wanders to many topics that I want to think over, discuss or talk them over with someone. My body aches more since covid because all I do is sit here at my desk for hours in meetings, trainings, replying emails and getting daily tasks done. Yes, I can make time to get up and stretch but honestly, my schedule is pretty packed for like 9-10hrs daily! My current movements and stretching is to get a drink since I now stopped using my 2L water bottle because I would just end up sitting down and not getting up. Spiritually, I do feel stagnant, not heavy, just stationary.

Which to me is a very interesting phase to be in, and yes I call it a phase because I believe all of these are phases in life that we go through. They can vary for each individual, some may never even experience some and some may experience some or all. But I believe just as there are variations of us there are phases we go through during different parts of our lives. Not to get all psychological here, just my thoughts streaming out of my wandering mind, and non linked thoughts.

Maybe things will improve, maybe they won't till some time, but either way, may my mind, body and soul - in whatever varying way it may be, be in tune with each other and balanced within me.